i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I AM VODKA MAN
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
