i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
