Where is the hickey?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
