Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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