Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize