you guys were way drunker than both of me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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