Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
