i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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