Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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