I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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