she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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