I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
