put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
