He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
