i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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