My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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