Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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