I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize