please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
