just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
