yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize