So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
