so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just googled if crying burns calories
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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