Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
