Your dad touched me again.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize