no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize