so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
