Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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