umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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