I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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