Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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