exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
