I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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