brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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