dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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