mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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