remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
