So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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