You can't special order awesome
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
