Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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