Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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