My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
