when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My dick has a subreddit
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
