It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
