That's intense
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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