that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This is my gift to your gina
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
