I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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