she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize