The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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