I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if i died would you start the facebook group?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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