is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
