i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize