he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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