So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
