what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
