The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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