We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
