Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
