I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
