oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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