saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize